It's wintry outside right now, I can't say snowy because it's not snow but sleet that looks like powder snow. It's cold and wet and icy and cold, did I mention that the kids are out of school the second day in a row.
These were Daddy days. The days that Duane would shine as a father, he loved snow. He loved pulling the kids on the sled, skating with them on the ice, just a big kid at heart when it came to snow. Me, I'm the Grinch. My heart is 3 sizes to small when it comes to the wet, cold wintry stuff.
It really got me thinking. All the little things that I miss about Duane being gone. All the things he did for us and did with us. Those little things that we all take for granted, at least I did with Duane. I miss the little things that my love did. Here is a list of a few things that I miss.
- building a fire in the fire place
- playing in the snow with the kids
- driving on the ice
- letting me put my cold feet under his behind to warm them up
- being excited for a snow day
- wanting a wiener roast in the fire place
- scraping ice off my wind shield
- not minding if I make soup every night for a week
- listening to me complain about the kids but understanding that I love them dearly
- flowers for when I've had a hard day
- getting me a diet coke with lemon from Sonic
- watching Lost with me and analyzing the episode
- replacing broken mini blinds without a hitch
- being a tax genius
- keeping me level headed
- going to the grocery store when I needed something to finish dinner
- saying "Hello Beautiful" at the beginning of every phone call
- hearing his spiritual ah-ha moments
- listening to him read Fablehaven to the kids
- watching that certain pg-13 movie that we both wanted to see but wouldn't want the kids to watch
- a shoulder to cry on
Such a small list really, but these are all things that have crossed my mind in the last 24 hours since the ice/sleet started to fall. I never knew how much he did for me. I miss him dearly.
5 comments:
How touching. I'm so sorry for your sadness. Thanks for stopping by my blog! Hope to see you again.
He sounds like he was a true angel here on earth for you. He's still your angel. What a sweet, sweet post that left me with tears in my eyes and more appreciative of my own sweet husband. Thank you and may all of God's blessings be with you and your darling children.
Brought tears to my eyes.......
Becky, I know you are having some rough days. This post made me cry. As the shock of Duane's passing fades, the real hurt is setting in. I am here for you, as are your many many true friends. I know we can't fill that place in your heart or that warm toochy spot for your cold feet...but know we care. And hurt for you.
Oh, Becky, I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling. And of course there are no words to make your hurt go away...but I'm sad with you, for you...and know that though we are virtually strangers, I am sending you love and hugs.
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