Me and My Gang

Hello boys, it's been so long since we were last in the same breathing space. I really had a fantastic time, despite the nosebleed I received from the section I was sitting in. You still had me hook, line and sinker. Taylor Swift, great choice on your opening act, she's a sickeningly talented and beautiful 18 year old. Oh and the fireworks and balloon drop, perfect 10 guys! But what I really want to say is Thank You! Thank you for giving Duane, Molly and I for a brief moment the ability to forget about Cancer! Thank you for giving my sister and her husband the opportunity to socialize with us at something other than a family dinner. Thank you boys for the tears, laughs, and the intense soar throat.
Gary your ability to sing and touch so many lives is a true gift from our Father in Heaven. Stand, from the first night coming home from the hospital, when Duane was diagnosed, has been our families "song". I remember it like it was yesterday. We were driving home, the 7 monkeys and I, all quiet, devastated that dad could not come home from the hospital and that he had almost unbeatable odds of surviving this cancer. I turned on the newest album from you guys and the first song was Stand. We sang at the top of our lungs and all cried, but we had a song to rally our spirits, a song to help us when we needed to get mad, to get strong, wipe our hands, shake it off, and STAND! Thank you.
Joe Don what can I say bud, your the cutest member of my gang. I loved your devotion to your family last night. Thank you for being a cute, hot, rock star, but a son, brother, husband and father also. Thank you.
Dude, you made me laugh! What a great shout out you made in my names honor. Although I have to say I did not call all my girlfriends last night and tell them to wear their tight britches. Sorry. Jay, thank you for the laugh, it's such a release! Thank you.

Keep playing, keep coming to our next of the woods, and I'll keep paying 70+ bucks to breathe in the same space as my gang.

Flip Flops

I have always felt like a fairly concrete person. When I form an opinion, most of the time I stick with that opinion.

I will never change my gender, religion, political preference or my extreme love of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.

My family will always be my number one love and Chuck Norris for some reason will always give me the willies.

Harry Potter will never be replaced by Pride and Prejudice(books and movies), watermelon can never be topped by cantaloupe, and Clay Aiken will NEVER beat Michael Buble.

Cancer on the other hand has brought a whole new substance to my life. Not so much solid anymore. Cancer has become the cornstarch and water experiment in my life, it can't decide whether to be a solid or a liquid, or other words it's a pair of funky Flip Flops.

• Cancer has brought us such pain/yet such peace
• One day he's barfy/one day he's going into work for a few hours
• I will shed tears one hour/laugh and smile the next
• I hate that Duane stays home/but love to be spending such quality time with him
• My children can be a hardship/but never know how much joy they bring to my life
• A fire to fight burns in his soul/but a cold pain weakens his body
• I hate Chemo/ I love Chemo

That's What Friends Are For

Thank you Lisa, Chris and kids for stepping in today to help Jack finish his wolf requirements. Your a wonderful friend and I truely mean this when I say "You mean the world to me!" Everyone should have a Lisa.

Oxaliplatin How We Loathe Thee-Let Us Count The Ways

Cookies and Cream ice cream from Braum's. His all time favorite, now a thing of the past
Jamba Juice, Strawberry Surf Rider. This has been a recent life saver for Duane. When his nausea would be terrible he could nurse a frozen Jamba Juice for an hour and work through the barfies. Man that sounds so familiar, only there's no baby in 9 months.
Ice! Ack, how can you drink anything without ice. Poor man.
And finally Mountain Dew Slushies from Kum and Go. Life's little sinful delights, so tragically lost.

This week unfortunately the cold sensitivity is the least of his woes. Chemo was on Wednesday and again the nausea has been extreme. He's trying his best to keep it all down or just to even eat, but it's been a real challenge. Lab results were a mixture of good and bad. The good is that his CEA numbers are down slightly, 5 points actually, the bad is that his billi number still went up along with his liver function. Wrong direction guys!

A simple touch

You've heard about the importance of a simple touch. You know how vital a gentle hand is with a newborn baby. But how often do we forget with our spouses how effective that same tender, loving touch can be. I've wondered if the Lord could have chosen a different way to teach me such simple principles, apparntly not. The power of a comforting hug, the touch of my hand, a gentle kiss on his forehead, all things I've learned to be more powerful than any medication prescribed to my husband. A simple touch is all it takes sometimes to really say "I love You Duane".

Do it for Her

We were avid Simpson watchers years back, yes even the my three oldest. Was that a collective gasp I just heard? What can I say I'm a motherly work in progress. The turning point for the Summers/Simpson divorce was a tragic day Molly decided to literally ring Ben's neck, good 'ol Homer, such a great role model. But before our part one particular episode has touched Duane in a way we never imagined. Homer finds himself having to go back to work at the nuclear plant which he absolutely loathes! To help remind himself why he's there, Homer created a collage of Maggie over the note Mr. Burns left him. It simply states DO IT FOR HER.

This last week of chemo and the newest battle with cancer, has Duane thinking the same thoughts, DO IT FOR THEM. I know he doesn't enjoy the pain, nausea, fatigue. I know he wants to participate in the children's activities, go out on a date with his beautiful :) bride, even do dishes. He fights for us! And I admire him for that.

Bad Spray on Tan

Just in case you were thinking it, no Duane did not use an old out-dated spray on tan. Normally he would be the color of my albino white pudgy arm, minus the pudgy part.
Every bit of his body is yellow-orange from the jaundice. Yes, even his tushy. The funniest is his stomach, which for some reason is bright yellow. Early one morning I had him turn the light off in the bathroom because his skin was blinding me, I'm so not joking.

His skin color has been about the only laughable part of this new chapter of his battle. Willy Wonka is calling for Duane, gotta go.