Dada's shoes-Emma's Wordful Wednesday

Instinctively all little girls develop a passion for shoes. I've watched tickled as each one of my ladies have gone through the phase of clopping around in overgrown shoes. If they're lucky they get to wear some hip high heels from there aunt, or maybe it's a comfy day and a pair of Mommas crocs. But little Miss Emma, having been thrusted into a different toddlerhood than most has developed her love of Dada's shoes. His Nike's have become her stomping around in favorites, so I thought.
Until I decided to put some of Duane's shoes away in the closet. His shoes are not just a fun experience, not just her shoe obsession. They are her comfort, her little thing that keeps normalcy in check. And why shouldn't she cling onto something like that, I do! I've kept his coats in the same spot, razor, robe, just random thing he left before he passed away. So the afternoon she said angrily "Dada's shoes, momma, Dada's shoes!" I instantly knew that his church shoes, which were placed in the closet, were to be put back on the treadmill for my sweet 20 month old to sit next to, touch, even tromp around in. And there they will stay for Emma and I, finding comfort in a little thing like Dada's shoes.

Thanks Angie for hosting Wordful Wednesday at Seven Clown Circus.

Wordful Wednesday-Sweet 16

The day I became Mrs. Summers I could not have imagined loving my sweet husband any more than I did that day. March 6, 1993 Duane and I were married, I was 18 and he was 20. Babies, absolute babies! I wouldn't have changed a thing. We grew up together, blended together, gained strengths together. In our short 15 1/2 years of earthly marriage we crammed a lifetimes worth of love, laughter, tenderness, and devotion. Duane and I were inseparable, you rarely got one without the other. I even remember a few lunch dates I would have with my friend Jessie that he would crash. Never once did I think I was being smothered, never once did I think it was intrusive. He was my other half, it was natural.

Looking back now I am so thankful for the closeness that my love and I shared. In a way the same closeness has made for intense pain with our earthly separation, but what a massive amount of memories I now hold close to my heart. I was so wrong 16 years ago, the love I feel for Duane has grown to an amount I could not have dreamed as a young 18 year old. A true and deep love only grows with time, I am thankful for that love.


Read more Wordful Wednesdays with Angie at Seven Clown Circus.

Wordful Wednesday- Keeping Sanity

We've had A LOT of birthdays to celebrate this past month and A LOT of tears, happiness, and much needed craziness! The first picture was the French Silk Oreo Cake we made to celebrate Duane's life. It was divine, and a needed chocolate boost. This was his all time favorite cake, so simple, but kicked up a notch to make it special. We celebrated his life and enjoyed our time remembering a pretty awesome Dad.
Katie was another birthday we celebrated, but it was her spontaneity and craziness that brought a bit of sanity to the roller coaster ride we've been on. After Duane's birthday it became just a tad low, well low may not describe it enough, how about crying at the drop of a hat. Dumbo, Daddy Daughter Dances, letters from first graders, even Mountain Dew made me cry. Katie Rose is my nut head, I never dreamed her ability to bust out in song, talk little crazy talk, and dancing a jig would bring peace to my heart.

Molly's was the final b-day celebrated, and possibly the hardest for me. I hope she had a wonderful day, I tried to create and atmosphere of love and happiness, but memories of my first born and the day I became a mom just crowded my brain. Duane and I were ecstatic to be blessed with Molly as our first born. She brought joy to us and created a bond between us no other child could have, that's the one special trait of your first born. But again to cut through the tears that I shed she brought flashes of "take me to your leader earthling" and "nanoo nanoo". I needed her goofiness, we all needed the goofiness.

I never dreamt that laughter and craziness would help in keeping sanity.

Join the fun at Seven Clown Circus, Wordful Wednesday.

Wordful Wednesday- Happy Birthday Babe!

Tomorrow is Duane's 36th birthday and tomorrow we celebrate! Last year when this picture was taken we believed we would have years and years of birthdays to celebrate. Years of singing, chocolate french silk cake and years of chicken and dumplings.

We celebrated last year with a bang, a surprise party fitted for a king. Lots of friends, family, and fun. Warm wishes were given, games were played and yummy food was eaten. Duane was happy, filled with love, and just plain happy.

As I contemplated this birthday, I instantly knew that chicken and dumplings could never disappear from February 12, that warm wishes about Duane would always gush from our lips and that we would always celebrate the man that we loved dearly.

Happy Birthday my love!

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Three Simple Words

My dear Duane,

I have but three simple words for you, words that sum up my week. I Miss You!

Love,

Your Beautiful

I'm a big kid now!

This morning apparently Copper aka fat dog some how knocked the shower door off its tracks. Nothing freaks me out more than a home repair, let alone one I hadn't seen Duane fix. My mom and I tried and tried, and no offense to mom but she was ready to throw in the towel, I on the other hand was DETERMINED to fix it myself! And I did! I can not tell you of the great satisfaction I felt, dare I say better than eating a fabulously made chocolate dessert.

Just yesterday I was explaining to my dear friend Brenda about how some things I was content to NOT grow in. Learning how to send a wire transfer, perfectly fine NOT knowing how! Learning how to fix a shower door, perfectly content NOT knowing how! But this morning I had to eat my words, it feels great knowing how. I feel like that little kid just learning a new task, "I'm a big kid now!", well I'm a Big Kid Now! But I will forever content NOT knowing how to set a mouse trap(way to go Jennifer P.!).

I did look up pointers and tips about shower doors jumping off the tracks, so FYI just in case it happens to you.

How to Keep a Sliding Shower Door in its Tracks

by eHow Home & Garden Editor
Introduction
Is that sliding shower door giving you a workout? Jumping the track is a problem with some less-expensive or older doors. (I found this funny that fat clumsy dogs was not included in possible reasons for door jumping) Maybe one of these simple ideas will help smooth the action, keep things on track and leave the hard work for the gym.
Instructions
Difficulty: Easy (?)

Step One
Check the rail (or track as some people or manufactures call it). The rail could be fouled with some kind of debris. (Some manufacturers provide a lubricant that is applied at installation.) This lubricant can collect grime over time, causing problems with door movement.

Step Two
Use a grease-cleaning product to fix this problem.


Step Three
Fixing corrosion may require replacement of the rail section or the entire door.


Step Four
Check the rollers themselves - sliding the door can also be hampered by problems with the rollers. Check to see whether the roller may need a drop of lubricant on its axle. Years of use can cause worn spots on the surface of the rollers, making the door difficult to move.


Step Five
See whether adjusting the track cover that comes with some models stops the problem.


Step Six
Consider replacing the entire unit - this may be the best option to get rid of an older or inferior product.


I wish it were as easy as the steps say, but it was physically challenging for me, maybe I'm a wimp, who knows.

Wordful Wednesday-Bravery

This week my Katie Rose turned 11, without her daddy. Honestly it was a wonderful day, the smile on her face was wide, the twinkle in her eyes were bright, the burden on her heart was lighter. She was a brave little soul, a strong little soul and I was so proud of her.

Katie struggled the most in the beginning with Duane's cancer. She would have dreams about one of us dieing and leaving her alone, it broke my heart. As Duane's time here on earth came to a close she puddled, again breaking my heart. Her pleading with Daddy to live forever, writing letters to encourage him, covering his chilled body an hour after he had passed away, all actions of a little girl not ready to let him go, none of us were really.

Letting go of a loved one hurts, especially when your 10 and it's your Daddy, but Katie has this incredible love inside of her. A love of Duane, a love of life, a love of her Father in Heaven, and a love for herself. All of these qualities of love has created a strong, brave 11 year old young lady. She has found a smile again, a giggle, a twinkle that I was so afraid would be dimmed. Love is the building block of her strength, she holds close to her heart memories of her Daddy, silly things, like how he used his spoon, how he used his tickle monster voice, how he tucked her in at night.

I'm sure that Katie never imagined that she carried such a powerful emotion inside of her. Her bravery strengthen by love and a special gift from our Father in Heaven will carry her through the lifetime worth of birthdays without her Daddy.

Thanks Seven Clown Circus for hosting Wordful Wednesday's!